Hello, Sidewalk
Crime scene. Didn’t take much, but enough
For a moment I thought wow, I can fly. Then it hurt. I hit the ground during a slow run. My wrists, elbow, knees bounced off the concrete and my head whipped backward -good thing it was attached to the neck. The little flip phone I held went airborne too. Its back cover popped off.
My spouse gasped as I rolled to my back. “Are you okay? That was a bad fall.” For a guy who once hiked Mt. Sunitas barefoot to say that, it was bad. I sat up, glancing back at the pad that jotted out. I was surprised at how not tight my back and neck were. Maybe the daily stretching, planks, grounding meditation, weekly Dr. Swan visits (osteopath) paid off.
With natal moon in Aries I responded and nurtured by assertion and action, and with anger when triggered, I got mad at the concrete pad (sounds absurd now, two days later). WTF. Someone should fix this. Anyone could trip.
I screwed up though. I went jogging when I had little sleep. Just before I fell, I thought, maybe I should walk, I was tired. Two seconds later, bam, I was down.
I wanted to cry right there. Roger waited for me to regroup. A woman with a child on her hip came by and offered an ice pack in her nearby house. We thanked her. I felt stupid, because there would be more trips to Dr. Swan’s. I had hope to graduate from the Lower Back College. My right hand and arm bled in three places -not good for a mom who cooked and did dishes; my left big toe was burning in pain.
The hard earth had a conversation with me: wherever your mind is it needs to come back, your body is exhausted.
I had been staying up and not sleeping deeply in the last two weeks. I edited my manuscript late into the night (ironically I was writing about the quest for good sleep), fretting over the floods that devastated our state, fretting over every sound of rain ever since. I worried about a giant typhoon landing where my father lived. There was a full moon and the autumn equinox. I absorbed the vibes of the nightlight in the sky and excitement of initiation of a new season.
My mind was out there, doing Reiki treatments for someone with challenging symptoms and intuiting the meaning of my perceptions. Also I had been formulating plans for Connect2Self… I was having a grand time in my head. Fitting for a Sagittarius oriented birth chart. (Thinking, exploring, theorizing.)
When I sat on the ground, the ever-expanding, non-descript kind of energy surrounded me dissipated. I was left with: What am I really doing about living life? Am I present and concrete (no pun intended)?
No…
The jolt brought me back into the body, the element of Earth. It was how we acted upon the world. We need it in good shape. Intellectually I get it, but my desires and empathic mind had taken over. My fall reminded me to heed the body, an old lesson from healing chemical sensitivity. After a stressful time like experiencing collective trauma (floods), rest. When feeling tired, rest.
Before I fell, I would watch reruns of Mrs. Fletcher solving mysteries in Cabot Cove near and after midnight. I would lean back on the couch, sometimes with half-cast eyes. I figured it was fun time for me after a long day, and as I got older I appreciated J.B. Fletcher’s graciousness amid her tenacity. I think I was in love with Angela Landsbury.
Not so much the next morning when the alarm went off at 7 a.m. I had to get my son to school, and be productive. The cycle repeated. Until my body said hello to the sidewalk.
Welcome back to Earth.
P.S. I released trapped energy in my body with Reiki before I went to the doctor. It was effective. 🙂
Have you heard of earthing and grounding? From Dr. Mercola.
12 Responses
Ouch! Sorry for your accident and subsequent suffering. What is the point of going for a run if you can’t let your attention wander and your mind drift? I prefer to focus on that moment when you thought you could fly after all – wasn’t that nice?
Get well soon!
Thank you Cathy. I have a bruised toe. The osteopath joked that if it’s broken we’ll just amputate it. I said ok. I could have picked up my feet/knees more when I jogged, but I was tired. I too had my wondering mind until flying.
Have to say, it was oddly thrilling to fly for a second. But now I need to remember which side has cuts and can’t get wet, and which side is bruised (can’t put weight on it). Dr. Swan also poured pellets of high concentration Arnica (anti-inflammatory) into my mouth. It felt like he was dispensing tiny gumballs from a machine. The Arnica is helping. The neighbors/HOA got nervous when I went back to take pictures of the sidewalk for the blog. All kinds of amusements in the aftermath.
Been there, done that….on various surfaces 🙂 Having said that…its a great reminder of how we float through life sometimes living in several dimensions at once. The trick is to remember to check in with the body more often and heed its call. Something I too am learning to do differently than I have done in the past.
Hope you feel well soon!
Thank you Deidre!! It was like floating through life in many dimensions -had to call every part of me back. I am better today 😉
Fun read–but not so much fun for you. Hope you are doing fine now, dear Sue!
Thank you, Bonnie. I am limping a little and the body is on the mend 🙂
Oh Sue, my heart goes out to you. I appreciate your extraordinary and beautifully written post with all these insights blooming from the concrete coming up to meet you! Falls like that trigger anger for me too, or bumping my elbow or head hard, things like that. I would love to hear any insight you have on why that triggers anger rather than compassion.
Great question, Gail. I knew I was pushing myself hard by going jogging. It was only a 20 min run around the block. I think I’m born to react with anger (that hot moon in Aries) and I grew up in the Home of “mistakes are inconvenient” -next time I’ll try compassion FIRST -thank you for bringing this to my consciousness. I walked home from the fall crying. The little girl in me came out and she was very frustrated with life at that moment. I got cleaned up and meditated, and more tears came. I apologized to the body. It was better after that. Then I Reiki’d the body parts -I was thinking, hey it helps someone else who fell a few days ago, I can release the energy the body absorbed in the fall. I did that and called up Dr. Swan. A lot of self-care that I wouldn’t have done just 3 years ago. Progress.
I hope you haven’t met the sidewalk lately. So, when I find you online late (like me) do we chat or do I kindly encourage you to get some rest? Hope you are fully recovered now.
I’ve been walking gingerly, i.e. limping with a bruised toe. Today I was able to put on a sneaker and limp on a short walk. Wondering when I can go biking (I use that toe to pivot often)…
We’d chat because friendship is precious and kindred spirits stay up at nights. That said, I plan to do fewer Late Nights with Sue after the lecture from the sidewalk.
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