Life Lessons on Relating and Networking: Libra
How do we connect with others these days? In the pandemic we have learned to go hybrid with most interactions. Some things are still tried and true though. We are social beings and connecting with others bring a sense of belonging personally, professionally, and spiritually.
The sun had moved into the social sign of Libra on September 22, signifying the beginning of the fall in the Northern Hemisphere. Happy Equinox! This is a turning point where the hours of daylight and night balances out, and darkness begins to stretch longer. Libra energy is initiating, engaging, and its goal is harmony. Diplomacy, fairness, relationships are themes.
As an expressive extrovert who grew up in an Asian society that valued girls to relate in subtle and demure ways, I was a fish out of water. At age 13, we moved to NY, where language barrier and cultural shock kept me from having any real friends. Luckily my teachers understood me — that connection sustained me during a formative time. Then, in a small college, I felt safe enough to let my Self be. I was known for dancing and having friends in different circles. My natural openness and willingness to relate emerged.
Shortly after graduation, I became a career counselor and cultural advisor at my alma mater. I showed students and alums how to express themselves in the best, relevant light as they networked and job searched. I established an Asian/Asian American group for faculty, staff, and students that is now 27-years-old.
With more life experiences, here’s what I’ve learned about relating and networking:
- Know what is dear to our heart: What are your values? These help to determine what resonates in an interaction.
- Initiate on commonalities: Distill issues, groups to the basic human level. What do you and those you want to connect with have in common? i.e. similar geographical location, social groups, career fields or interests, hobbies, values, or even an intuitive recognition.
- Start with goodwill: How you can help or resonate? There is always something. Even if you are networking to grow your professional contacts or land a great job, your relevant skills, background, or sheer interest in a field is enough.
- Reach out with clear intentions: What is the outcome you want? Our intentions manifest especially when we are conscious of them.
- Give benefit of the doubt and kindness: We all have emotional triggers. Step back, give people a chance, and double check with your intuition: is this a connection that serves my highest good?
- Remember why you reached out: Absolutely support each other and bring your curiosity. Learn from and build the connection.
Discern how relationships are working for you:
- Balance of energy exchange: Use your values as a filter to maintain good self-care — what is being respected and what’s not? Trust how you feel. The balance of giving and taking is part of building relationships. It’s not about keeping score, but about being able to hold your heart positive in the mix.
- Conflicts and self-care: It’s vital to reflect on our part in the disharmony and figure out how to make amends, keep ourselves whole, or let go if needed. We don’t like to disappoint others but for our wellbeing, speaking our truth and letting others be/off our “life’s bus” is okay. We are going somewhere, and people get on to travel with us and sometimes they get off for another route.
I’m a lifelong learner and would love to hear your insight about relating. Please share!
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Warmest wishes for the new season!
Sue
